Bacon. MMMMMMM bacon!

So I was cooking bacon last Saturday for lunch. Yes, all I ate was bacon. Ok, and some Samoas. Saturdays are terrible days to diet. Anyway, so I'm cooking my bacon in the microwave, because frankly it's less messy and I've heard it's a healthier way to cook it. I am, afterall, on a diet.

It's no secret that I bought a cheap, crappy microwave. It's so cheap and crappy that I really shouldn't cook more than three pieces of bacon in there at a time in order to acheive maximum crispy-ness, but I was feeling wild and crazy and went for four pieces of bacon. I'm pretty sure it took about ten minutes altogether to cook the bacon, which was delicious and lower in sodium for that dieter in me, but I noticed something else about my microwave during this long but well worth it process. Microwaves, no matter how fancy, don't have a "bacon" preset.

There's one for popcorn. Sure, that's a natural choice, even though I still go by the time-and-listen method. There's one for potatoes. Ok, sure...my dad always cooked baked potatoes in the microwave, so I get it. One for frozen vegetables, a couple for various portions of reheating and/or thawing, but none for bacon. Hmph! What do microwave manufacturers have against bacon??? I mean, MAYBE if they're Jewish, but even still, I've dated Jews who eat bacon.

I'm pretty sure as soon as they come out with a microwave with a bacon setting, I'm going to go out and drop some coin on it a) to replace my cheap and crappy one and b) to immediately try out the bacon preset. I am fully aware that this preset won't work to my liking, just like all the other presets, and I'll end up returning to the time-and-stare-into-the-window- method, never trying the bacon preset every again. But hey, at least it'll be on there.

My First Blog (not on myspace)

Soooooo, I guess my mom was wrong. If all my friends jumped off a bridge I think I would, too. Ok, so all my friends didn't jump off a bridge. Only the cool ones did, and by "jump of a bridge" I mean "start a blog". It's basically the same thing, right? I mean, jumping off a bridge could be fun if you had the proper landing gear and/or harnesses, but it could also end very, VERY badly. When I worked for the pr firm from hell, I remember a story coming out in US Weekly or something and turning into a book or something about the bosses at the pr firm from hell. The was about a blog written by a former employee of said hell firm who moved on up (and outta hell) to become an assistant ass-kisser, I mean editor, at some fashion magazine. She spent most of her blogging time exposing the atrocities in Darfur, I mean the pr firm, and how horrid the bosses are, the bribing of beauty and fashion editors with lavish gifts such as $800 baby-skin robes and $1000 bags made of panda eyelashes, etc. Well, once her identity was exposed, she lost her job at the fashion magazine and probably couldn't find a job at an e-zine in Brooklyn, let alone back in the fashion magazine world and now probably works for the Flint (Michigan) Free Press. Girl DOES have some writing skills, so I'm glad they are being put to good use.

Anyway, my point is, creating a blog and jumping off a bridge could be equally dangerous, however I'm gonna do it anyway. "Selling Air" will feature periodic gems about working for one of the largest corporations in America, and probably boys and lipstick and celebrities, too. That's it for now, as I've already spent 45 minutes on the clock at Mega Corps creating this blog. Enjoy!